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Happy New year 2011!!!
Since this is my initial post (ever), I thought it would a good idea to quickly say to the one person reading that I am far from winning the "Father of the Year" award. I have three children ages 12, 9 and 7 - and I make mistakes all the time. The truth is, I am hoping that this post will serve to help other dads in similar situations, be a method of accountability, and help me release my personal pain and frustration caused by not having the tools needed to be the father I want to be.
The truth is, I used to feel like a victim, blamed the men in my younger life for not providing the good example that I could learn from. It took a long time, and a very good woman, to bring me to the realization that we are not doomed to fail by our past experiences, however it is our current choices that dictate our future. Sounds simple... I know.
Like a lot of dad's, I am heavily involved in my kids lives, even when they don't want me to be. That has created a lot of great memories, and a lot of big failures on my part. It has taken me many years to learn that my behavior "on the field", could cripple the relationship I have with my children. To be clear, the field I reference isn't sports alone - it's school, band, church, middle school drama.... you name it. Every interaction with our kids is game on.
I'm not typically a new year's resolution guy. However, this is a different time in my life. My resolutions this year are simply the following; Run a 15K, lose 50 lbs, and most importantly, get closer to my kids. I may fail the first two, but I won't fail the latter resolution. I have started the year off training, running and it's paid off. I am already down 11 pounds. I have also been "training" to get closer to my kids. Instead of watching only shows or movies I want to watch, I am choosing to watch things my entire family is interested in. I am also now taking a bigger role in the "taxi" service to get to know my kids friends even better (and take the load off my wife).
This time of the year is also special for grown men because we are in the middle of championship football. we just witnessed a great college ending to the 2010 season and now the NFL is center stage. Although there are only two NFL football fans in my house, it's amazing to see what football is doing for me. The relationship with my oldest daughter has been strained somewhat, mainly due to the age she is and a pre-teen's need to push the outer limits of her independence. My daughter, who has become too cool to hang with her ol' man, is looking forward to hanging with good 'ol dad to watch the Atlanta Falcons play later tonight (yes, I am a displaced Georgian). Not because she is jacked up about football, but because she wants to spend time with me, doing something I want to do. I can only think the training camp is paying off.
I used to think resolutions were really just stupid. 2011 is teaching me they can really be new beginnings.
It's really small changes that make the largest impacts....
Happy New Year!!
I love it! I'm in! I am impressed and excited that you are tuning into the concept of "personal responsibility." We can always blame other people and circumstances for the current outcomes in our lives, but by doing so we sacrifice the ability to make positive changes because we CANNOT control other people or circumstances. However when we realize that it is NOT other people or circumstances, but rather OUR RESPONSES to them that determine our outcomes, then we have empowered ourselves to make improvements, because we can ALWAYS CONTROL OUR RESPONSES. So good for you!
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