Shot through the heart - The Facebook Killer

Isn't it amazing. Really? How many social land mines are out there that our kids have to traverse to keep from being ridiculed by their friends at school. It's not that we didn't have the same land mines, however the explosions weren't publically available through Facebook, group texting, Twitter, and blogging. Some posts are hysterical I have to admit, but most are just sad. Especially when you consider these are kids expressing themselves in front of hundreds of people.

Watching through my kids Facebook home pages, I've seen messages desperately asking for texting ("Text me - I'm bored") to kids aggressively cussing each other. Mostly girls.... they really are meaner than boys.

Tonight, I was looking up movies online and on another page, and noticed my oldest daughter had left herself logged in to Facebook. She was instant messaging with another friend and a new message had come in making the "tab" blink. It caught my eye, so I took a peak.

What I found went through me like a dagger...

As most of you living in Oklahoma know, we were hit by a HUGE snow storm this week. Today, my daughter wanted me to take her to a friend’s house. I said no because we have not been able to successfully get our cars out of the driveway now for 3 days (although I was able to later in the day). Her message to her friend was laced with boy crazy stuff... and then there it was....."I hate my parents" and "My dad is stupid".

I'd be lying if I said this didn't hurt. Over the past few months, the samples we have found on her phone have had similar themed messages regarding my wife and I. She has portrayed us to her friends to be over-the-top strict and wonders why her friends may think we're weird. But it hasn't bothered me until now. I actually thought of it as a moral compass telling us we're headed in the right direction.

I'm struggling with this new information and seeing my oldest say those things in black and white is really affecting me. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because we all want to be accepted by our kids. Maybe it's because I want her to think I'm cool. I would agree that I have high standards for my kids. However, I was raised by a fun loving woman, so by default... there's a lot of that there too. In the end, I know 13 year old kids don't have the capacity to think past their little narcissistic noses. But deep down... ouch!

I would love to hear if anyone out there has had similar experiences with your kids or struggling the same way. I did call her down and talk to her about what I found. The conversation didn't last long, because I didn't want her to see how wounded I feel. I don't want to muzzle my kids, but is it wrong to expect them to have your back?

Let me know what you think and thanks for reading this blog!